The Dad Mindset
The Dad Mindset Show
Calming the voice inside your head with Dr Adam Fraser

Calming the voice inside your head with Dr Adam Fraser

And other ways to perform at your best

This week I wanted to share another one of my favourite episodes with you from the archives.  It’s a chat I had with Dr Adam Fraser, back in 2020, where we discussed different approaches for calming the voice in your head and performing at your best. 

Dr Adam is the author of the books Strive and The Third Place which if you haven’t got onto yet are well worth a read.

I love the way Adam describes how some of his peak performance clients have begun calling their negative inner voice ‘Kevin’ (apologies if that’s your name BTW) in order to acknowledge their fears and doubts but then set them to one side so that the clients don’t kill themselves—literally.

He also blows apart the linear model of how we’ve been taught to think when things are going pear-shaped: Of having a positive mindset first, then experiencing a positive emotion, and only then you'll do better. Dr Adam’s research suggests it's much more about a focus on action that's aligned to your values. Rather than trying to fix what's happening inside your head first, essentially find ways of switching to planning mode and determining what the next action should be, which is way more effective.

He describes his process for transitioning from work mode to home mode as well so that you don’t experience negative spill. Like if we have a stressful day, we tend to take it home, which creates conflict, which creates more stress, which we then take to work the next day. The steps are find a space to be on your own between work and home then:

  1. Reflect (how did I do today? What did I get done? How did I evolve?)

  2. Rest (get calm, go for a walk, read, sit and watch the surf)

  3. Reset (decide how you want to show up when you walk through the door, define your intent).

Give it a go, it can can even turn crazy business types into superdads.

I hope you take as much from this conversation with Adam as I did.

Big hug


PS. If you could share this with your best friend right now, that would be ace ;-)

The Dad Mindset
The Dad Mindset Show
Hi, I’m Rich Bolus.
Join me as I explore insights from parents and experts as I apply a growth mindset to parenting.